In a now deleted post, someone on one of the numerous Witchcraft groups here on Meta, there was a person who posted:

“Hi! I am having some issues with my guy’s ex.

Basically, she is still obsessed with him and he recently unblocked her number to ask her a favor. She is taking advantage of the fact that she’s doing him a favor and will not leave him alone and will not stop trying to get his attention/him to hang out with her. Bc of the favor, he can’t really call her out for it or set a boundary bc she is insane and will probably go back on it. And yes, he is ignoring every advance and message that isn’t directly about the favor.

I don’t believe in cursing or ill will work, but I am looking for ways to get her to stop. It really bothers me that she’s trying so hard to get him back and I just want it to stop. It is not at all a trust issue with him, I just like REALLY hate her lmao.

Keep reading for context if you like the drama.

She broke up with him for someone much older who can support her habits. Their relationship was dead anyways. For a while after they broke up she would call him late at night trying to get him to hang out, or crying on the phone, just overall doing whatever she can to get his attention. He blocked her number after a couple months of those calls continuing after we started seeing each other. Well, when they broke up, she forced him to take one of the cats they had together, and she is a nightmare. I have never not liked a cat, even the disagreeable ones. But this one, she is a nightmare. Like there is actually something wrong with her. She’s violent and aggressive for no reason to people, to other animals, to everyone. She really needs to be in a home with no other animals and a very patient owner. He is moving in with me soon and I have 2 cats and 2 dogs (one of which I’ve had literally half my life) and to get rid of them to make room for a cat that scares the absolute crap out of me and would make her, us, and the other animals miserable just doesn’t make sense. So he unblocked her to ask her to take the cat back. The cat has not been moved yet (will be on Monday) and even after, he still has to leave her unblocked in case the ex needs to reach out about the cat. The problem is, she will not stop texting him and calling him saying “come down to my bar I’ll buy you some drinks” “if you ever deliver any packages to my place feel free to let yourself in and hang out for a minute” sending him memes about MY FAVORITE BAND that he took me to see a couple months ago that she is very much aware of and does not even like them, following him and messaging him on the one social media account her bf didn’t make her block him on (bc he’s also aware she’s still obsessed with my bf). Unfortunately, if he says anything to her about how it’s inappropriate for her to act like they’re friends or trying to get him to hang out with her, she will for sure gaslight and deflect and go back on taking the cat. And bc she is such a difficult cat, the ex is, unfortunately, the only one who can handle her. The ex has the only other animal the cat has ever gotten along with and she loves that other cat. We just want to do what’s best for the cat. But my sanity is suffering. There’s way more to the story if you’ve gotten this far and want more tea.

Anyways, please help me for the love of god.”

She received a lot of advice, most of which she kept rejecting out of hand. I initially responded with the following:

“Get over your “not believing in cursing or ill work.”

What do you think she is doing to you with this situation? If your man can’t deal with her then you need to put on your boots and do it yourself.

You’re posting in a group for practitioners of witchcraft. Witchcraft isn’t all sweet and light. It’s also dark and dirty. You can’t have a pleasure garden without getting rid of the noxious weeds.

The comments kept coming in, and she kept protesting that she was “asking for Witchcraft advice, not relationship advice.” She wasn’t seeing the connection there at all.

I was going to give her some Witchcraft advice, but when I hit “send”, she had deleted the post.

So, here’s what I was *going* to tell her.

“I can sense the frustration you’re feeling with this whole situation, and it’s completely understandable. You’re in a tough spot, but there are some ways to approach it energetically that could help ease things for you and your partner without causing harm to anyone. I want to share a few thoughts with you that might help, especially when it comes to protecting your space and relationship.

First, let’s focus on creating protection around you and your partner. You can do something as simple as lighting a black candle for protection and holding a photo of you two (or something that represents your bond). As you do this, place a small mirror facing outward, next to the photo, and say:

“Return to sender, what’s not mine,
Let peace surround and ever shine.
Reflect it back, release, and clear,
Let calmness reign, and love stay near.”

This can help deflect any obsessive or negative energy she might be sending your way, without engaging with it. Let the candle burn out naturally, and keep the mirror near the entrance to your home to keep that boundary up.

Now, if it feels like your partner’s connection with his ex is still lingering, you might want to try a cord-cutting ritual to energetically release that tie. This will help clear out old energies that don’t need to be hanging around anymore. Take two black cords or threads, tying a knot in the middle to represent the energetic bond between them. Light a black candle, and while focusing on cutting the tie, say:

“The ties that bind are now set free,
By my will, so mote it be.
Let distance grow and peace increase,
All is released, now come the peace.”

Use scissors to cut through the knot, visualizing the connection between them dissolving completely. You can bury or burn the cut cords afterward, symbolizing the final release.

To calm her obsessive energy, you could also work with peaceful, soothing elements. Write her name on a piece of paper, fold it away from you, and place it in a dish of water with lavender and chamomile. Light a white candle and say:

“Calm your mind and set us free,
Let your path be clear to see,
Find your bliss and cease to moan,
Leave us be, and on your own.”

Let the paper sit overnight, then dispose of it (burning or burying it works) to release her energy from your space.

One more thing—don’t hesitate to cleanse your home regularly. Burning rosemary or lavender and moving the smoke through your space, especially around windows and doors, can help keep any unwanted energy at bay. While you do this, say:

“Only peace may enter here,
Only peace may stay, so clear.
All ill will must fade away,
Only peace shall light the way.”

Here’s something important I want to remind you: in Leland’s “Aradia, Gospel of the Witches”, one of Aradia’s gifts to witches is the ability “to bless or curse with power friends or enemies [to do good or evil].” As witches, we have been given this power—not only to bless but also to stand up for ourselves and our boundaries. So, don’t be afraid to believe in your magic or feel guilty about “getting your hands dirty” when it comes to protecting what matters. Witchcraft is about balance—sometimes that means being firm and using the power you have.

Lastly, carrying black tourmaline for protection and rose quartz to maintain harmony between you and your partner might give you some extra energetic support.”

But, deleted post, so, oh well.

/end soapbox